How to Not Let Negative People Affect You

do not enter sign, as in do not let negative energy enter you

People really suck sometimes.

Obviously not all of them do (thank goodness), but you know the people I’m talking about. They’re the ones who get under your skin and make you question humanity. Spend a few minutes in the comments section of any controversial Facebook or Instagram post, and you’ll get the picture.

The sad truth is, there are a lot of unhappy people out there. Although most probably have their own sympathetic reasons, many of them choose to handle that unhappiness in a way that resembles a cancer. Instead of focusing on their own issues, they focus on and point out why everyone else is the problem. I’d like to believe that most of them have good intentions and don’t realize the toxic effect of their overwhelming negativity – but who knows? It’s not up to us to figure out or fix negative people – it’s up to us to not allow their cancerous attitude to spread.

It's not up to us to figure out or fix negative people - it's up to us to not allow their cancerous attitude to spread. Click To Tweet

Remember your control over the Negative situation.

You can’t control how another person acts, but you have complete control over how you choose to let them affect you. How you choose to react and move forward isĀ entirely up to you. Having this knowledge is empowering, even if it isn’t always the easiest to implement. Simply knowing you can choose to not let it affect you doesn’t mean it suddenly won’t – you have to begin practicing. Talk yourself through these situations and check how much you allow to affect your feelings. Take note of what bothers you more and what helps you feel better. Over time, it will become second nature for negativity to just slide right off of you – or at least not stick around as long.

Remember to not take it personally.

Honestly, this can be the hardest part of all. Obviously it will probably still hurt when someone is outrightly negative and even rude to you. It can feel like a slap in the face sometimes, especially when they personally attack you. But after that initial shock, allow yourself to process what just happened. A lot of the time, negativity and personal attacks have a lot more to do with the person issuing them than the person receiving them. Separate yourself from their narrative. You do not have to allow their negativity to become your own.

Take care of yourself & your energy on a regular basis.

The stronger you are, the more difficult it will be to weaken you. I’ve noticed that I get upset much more easily when I haven’t been taking care of myself. It’s because my defenses are so much lower! When I regularly check in with how I’m feeling, read and listen to uplifting messages, and do things that make me happy, it takes a lot more to get under my skin. This is because in the heat of the moment you are able to remember who you are and what your values are. Having this inner strength creates the resilience you need to persevere in the face of negativity.

Don’t try to change them or fight them.

As soon as you try to argue someone’s negativity or change their perspective, you are inserting yourself in the thick of those nasty weeds. It makes it so much harder to pull yourself out of it and not feel its diminishing effects. By not feeding into their negativity, you take away their power over you. You can either respond with a more positive attitude, or you can choose not to respond at all. Even if you don’t enlighten them in the slightest, you will be freeing yourself from that toxic situation. Choose your battles wisely.

Remove them from your life as much as you can, if you can.

Choose who you surround yourself with wisely, too. Although you can’t completely rid your life of all negative people, you can control how much they enter your mind. Who are you following on social media, and what are they talking about? If they regularly bring negativity into your life, unfollow them. Who are the people that bother you on a regular basis, and how often do you think about how much they bother you? Reframe those thoughts and focus elsewhere. If you do have the good fortune to be able to spend less time with this person, do that. Focus your attention elsewhere whenever you can when it comes to negativity…it is amazing the difference it can make, and it’s not unrealistic in the slightest.

Have anyone in particular in mind?

Chances are you may have had a person or two in mind while reading through this…I know I did. And that’s the first step! By acknowledging the people in your life who put a damper on your overall mood, you can start the process of lessening their effect on you. You may not be able to completely rid your life of them, but you can at least learn what they trigger in you and how to defend yourself from that impact. Negative attitudes will always exist. But just like water surrounds a boat, negativity won’t impact you unless you allow it inside. It’s all up to you.